Nothing Doing

As ya can see from my lack of posts, I was busy doing nothing. Just sitting around like a lump of butter in a tub. I spent the week watching alot of CSI and Ugly Betty and that's it... erm wait, and eating alot of ice-cream. Not even making the effort to want to go jog or walk or something.

Yes, I'm that bad.

Now I'm blogging again 'cause I shall not proudly say that finally from yesterday I started making a conscious effort to estimate my calories input into my flabby body. So I guess everytime I blog I'm like bragging about my trying to lose weight like a proud peacock when really I'm really doing nothing.

I happen to read about other people's blog and somehow or another it seems like everybody's trying to lose weight and this particular person happened to lose like 10 fucking kilos. The love for a person can actually do that to you. Okay, at least ya can give her credit for losing weight, even though she might not be doing that for herself...

And speaking of love, I was watching CSI and that was this background music with the lyrics,

Toxic

F told me at work today that J is taking over as chief. That is bad bad extremely bad news, given our history together. There is no doubt that she will not do anything to help me if I should run into some trouble while working. Only time will tell... Should I stay or should i go...

On another note.. I need to go court.. again. Fucking boring stuff I tell ya. I've got to stop going for cases with an impending lawsuit.

And also, I've done nothing to lose that weight. So much for starting this blog to kickstart me. Ha.

I'm back.

Yessss.... I finally gave in to the temptation. I'm blogging again. Too many times when I felt like putting my thoughts down on paper (or rather computer), I decided against it or was either being too lazy. I have no idea what finally prompted me to make this move, either I've:

1) been reading too many people's blogs in secret or
2) been having this quarter life crisis which leads me to the next point..
3) .. been putting on too much weight and seeming doing nothing about it except for a few feeble attempts at jogging and as if re-starting my blog will somehow make me feel better and motivate me to lose that horrible spare tyre and those THUNDER thighs so that I can fit nicely into my uniform again
4) been thinking about my job lately, should I quit or not and perhaps blogging it down may clear my thoughts
5) no other life than being on the comp or playing with the xbox or re-reading old novels.. rather than getting on my feet and jogging..

Anyways. Perhaps this blog may see some good after all.. take me through my weight issues and insecurity issues and quarter life issues and whatnots.

And did I mention I just read through my 3 year old blogs and I can't believe I was that depressive. It was embarassing. But I decided not to delete it, may that serve as a reminder and some posts are really quite funny.

P.S. if someone I know happens to read this, pretend you don't know me. Nor me you.

It Takes Two

Happy 2005, all you bitches.

It was a sad and emotional start to mine, let's hope for a great year.

2004 was a roller coaster ride. Ups and downs and upside downs.

Cheers, everyone.

Home Spun Desperation's Knowing Inside Your Cover's Always Blown

I feel so down... it's so depressing.

Maybe it's PMS.

I'm sinking.... sinking.... lower.

Get a grip.

It's Christmas Eve and it doesn't feel like Christmas.

Mold myself to the bed.

That Cheating Gets It Faster

My whole mouth hurts. Maybe it's retribution in a way for speaking what I think, too direct, too blunt. Now I have a problem eating and talking. Perhaps I can lose weight this way. Hahahahaha. Yeah right.

I'm craving chicken.

I need a drink.

Numbs the pain.

Misery

I'm Thinking Back To The Last Day We Had... Old Moon Fades Into The New

When it falls....

Erase Me Off And Blow Off The Dust

I'm dead dead dead dead dead dead. Darn bloody dead. Deat meat. Due date. My dad's gonna kill me when he finds out. Torture then kill me. Worse still... nag then torture then kill me.

On another note, I've got new speakers, a sub-woofer and monitors. Whee. I love it. Technically they are not new (a very hunky dory, wonderful and sweet person sold them to me), but to me they are. So it's more like a new old sound system :) I'm in love love love love love love... with my spunky new old sound system. My mum thought my room was a nightclub. Lol.

I don't care what they say.

I love it... I love it... I love it... And where it goes I follow... I follow... I follow... It's always been my true love... my true love... my true love...

Hahahhahaha sorry the song just popped up in my head... in my head.... zombie.. zombie...

Lol. Okay I'll stop.

Paper Burns And Shreds

Pastic money. Wool and thread.
Everday, in and out.
Late nights, misty embrance.
Peaking and then falling.

Zig-zag roads, heavy guitars.
Cuboid existence, faceless resistance.
People leaving, lovers embracing.
Surreal. Suffer.

Roll. Toss. Crawl.

In my head, spinning.
Always losing, dreaming.
Just. Disappear.

Whisper away the noise.